quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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