I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
