there was a trapeze. enough said
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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