worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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