Nicole vs. Life
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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