after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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