I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
