I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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