***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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