oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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