god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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