Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
