I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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