Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
