Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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