he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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