Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
OPIZZABONMYDICK
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
