bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
