how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
