Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
