The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
