Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Someone signed my nipple.
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