Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
