Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
