I got chris browned last night
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
