Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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