i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
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