Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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