my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
This baby is an asshole
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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