OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
