school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
honey bunches of taint.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
