Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
