i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
