Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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