I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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