Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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