Whoa Z and x make the same sound
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
