Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
