dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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