Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
COCAINE IS GR8
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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