if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
