Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
