Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
