I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
