You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
