I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
