I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
