Don't you send me to vm
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
