I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I want her autograph on my taint
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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