here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
