I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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