maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
