I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
