I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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