can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize