I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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