i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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