did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
The power of my boobs compel you
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
