just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
