you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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