it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
