I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
