I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
