whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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