i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
