My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
