Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
