Rock
Scissors
Fuck
vagina is talking i cant
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
